Closing the distance update. 11/17/11

102 days

2453 hours

147288 minutes....

Until M gets here.

Yep. Someone is excited! I mean I even know how many full moons there will be until he gets here...

So this will be the real solid start to our relationship. I think the plan is for his relatives in the States to meet me, approve of me and then introduce the idea of marriage to his parents back in Pakistan. They are well aware of M's plans to marry me.

Although I fear them not accepting me due to my divorce, the girls and my age. Even though everything is well justified, it's not the norm in their culture and I've accepted this. There's a chance where they wont approve of me, period. It's a reality that we've both come to accept. M has made it clear of his choice but I fear that he will choose his family over me anyways . We may end up doing things our way and that way isn't something that I want to happen. It would be much better if they accepted me and the girls into their family with open arms but that may be too much dreaming on my part. I don't want to be the one who causes a rift in the family and I am afraid that if we do the Nikah without their knowledge and consent that it will cause major problems. I don't want M to go through that stress but at the same time I do not want to lose him.

It leaves me feeling very selfish.

So it appears he will be here on a 90 day visit and then possibly extending that for a total of six months. Who know what could happen then but I know having to put him a plane home will kill me. So maybe he'll change his mind and stay. Wishful thinking once again.

M is going back to the embassy this week and I am sure we will talk more about this in detail some time this weekend.